7 moments from your 7 years of life that if i could, i would.
if i could i would sit in our jeep again on the way to the hospital to deliver you. i remember everything about that moment.... the dark yellow street light glow that lite up your daddy's happy face in the car, the pain, the fear of being caught off guard by your early arrival, the rain drops on the window & my favorite wet smell from outside. within one hour i would hold you in my arms. the moments leading up to your arrival somehow felt as magical as holding your new skin in my arms. and then i would lay on my side in my hospital bed in the middle of the night with you bundled & tucked in front of me. your daddy would again be laying behind me, his arm wrapped around the two of us. if i could, i would lay like that for hours & hours.
if i could i would go back to the night before your blessing. we were in the purple room at the del monte house. it was late, i was rocking & watching you in front of the floor length mirror. daddy sat on the bed with the lamp on, thinking about what he would bless you with. we would talk & take turns walking with you. we were over come with love as we held you & cried quiet tears. in many ways, this moment is dearer to me than your actual blessing. this was just the three of us and your daddy & i felt the blessings of heaven with us.
if i could i would sit & play with you by our huge window in our naperville duplex. we would color & play with your wooden toys & i would rock you on your horsie. the golden afternoon sun would light up your hair & i would watch & smell & hold you. it would be quiet & i would be so peacefully happy just being with you and knowing that my life is just as it should be.
if i could i would once again put you down for your nap while i was in labor with wynn. i knew that everything was about to change and that this was the very last moment that it would be just you & me. your sister was coming & i was in intense pain. but we would still sit on the rocking chair & you would barely fit because of my belly. i would read you a couple books & then hold you while i sang to you, fighting back the sweet tears that come from a beautiful moment. i would lay you down & stare at you...and then i would leave and crawl around on the floor in pain, wynn would be with us within minutes of reaching the hospital.
if i could i would go back & do pillow talk with you as we snuggle up in my bed at the del monte home. we would have just daddy's lamp on & we would talk & talk. i would ask you what made you happy today? and you would ask me too. we would whisper to each other & i would tickle you all over for as long as you want (which means until you fall asleep.) you would lay all over me & pat my face with love. and i would press my face into your wet clean hair and squeeze you so so tight.
if i could i would wake-up once more before the sun & sit in that same rocking chair on our front porch & drink hot chocolate with you. we would wrap up in the blue quilt and you would look so happy & tell me that you love special time with me. we would watch the beautiful sun rise & feel the mist of that cloudy morning. and i would watch you walk around with my camera taking pictures of this & that.
happy 7th birthday my darling mya.
i love you & will always go back in my mind to all the beautiful moments i've been blessed to share with you.
love your forever mommy :)
